A Soliton and its owned Bions (Awareness and Mind) – part 8


10 A Brief Autobiography of myself Kurt Johmann

This chapter is new for the 12th edition of this book. I think it will be helpful to the reader to give some background about myself that explains to a large extent what motivated me to work on this book, and keep working on it over the course of many years. Of course, since this is only a brief account, a lot of detail from my life is left out, including all the programming work that I did—both paid work at a corporation, and unpaid work on my own making PC products that in the end never made me a profit (I am not much of a businessman, admittedly, but I do have a real talent for programming). The chapter sections are:

10.1 My own Relevant Experiences regarding Lucid-Dream Projections, Bion-Body Projections, Solitonic Projections, and the Kundalini Injury

In the previous editions of this book I didn’t say anything about my own experiences with out-of-body projections, solitonic projections, and the kundalini injury, but I certainly had them. In brief, beginning when I was 19 years old, as a result of using Om meditation (which I learned about from reading an English translation of the principal Upanishads), and continuing up until my 25th birthday when I suffered the kundalini injury (described below), I typically did the Om meditation about twice a week, and typically had a conscious out-of-body projection later that night when I was asleep. I later estimated that during those years of Om meditation, I had in total about five hundred out-of-body projections, of which about four hundred were lucid-dream projections, and the rest—about one hundred—were bion-body projections (only one of those bion-body projections had, compared to all my other bion-body projections, a dense bion-body with apparently a much greater number of bions in it, described below). I also had two solitonic projections (described below).

For all the many out-of-body experiences I had back then, including the most extraordinary of them (the one dense bion-body projection, and the two solitonic projections), I never wrote any notes about any of them (I have never kept a diary, either). My reasoning at that time was if the experience was important enough, I would remember it. Thus, what I relate now about them is recalled from memory. (Note that my projection experiences guided my selection of the two books Astral Projection and The Projection of the Astral Body as reliable primary sources which I used in Chapter 5.)

Over the course of about four hundred lucid dreams, I encountered and interacted with a large number of humans (some were already dead, and others—a minority of whom I knew from my everyday life—were still alive as humans but were projecting, I presume, while they were asleep, and I would also presume that most wouldn’t consciously remember any of it when awake). Regarding animals, only once in a lucid dream did I encounter an animal; it was a tiger—that is what it looked like—and I remember thinking when I encountered it that it was kept in a zoo and it didn’t like its life and it wanted to be human. The only other times I remember encountering an animal during an out-of-body projection was during a few of my bion-body projections where I saw the projected bion-body of our family’s pet cat, and a much later bion-body projection, in 2012, when I saw the projected bion-body of my current pet cat.[159] But only once did I encounter an awareness/mind during an out-of-body projection that impressed me as being neither animal nor human, and that encounter was during the one dense bion-body projection that I had.


footnotes

[159] It is March 2016 as I write this footnote and I am 60 years old. When I was a child of around age seven or eight, my parents had gotten our family an orange tabby cat when it was a small kitten about two months old. Later in life, while attending Rutgers University, I was living with my parents in their home in Berkeley Heights, New Jersey, and I drove to my classes as a commuter student. I graduated from Rutgers in May 1978 at age 22, and shortly afterwards I got a job as a programmer. I moved out of the Berkeley Heights home in the summer of 1978 into an apartment in the nearby town of Chatham, New Jersey (I lived in that apartment for the next ten years until moving down to Gainesville, Florida at age 32 in the summer of 1988 to become a graduate student at the University of Florida). As best I can remember, my bion-body encounters with our family cat all happened when I was still living in the Berkeley Heights home with that cat also living in that house (after I moved out, the cat remained with my parents until its eventual death from old-age years later).

Although my out-of-body projection experiences were pretty much ended by my Kundalini injury on my 25th birthday, there were more than a few lucid dreams that happened in the years that followed, without any attempt by me—such as by doing meditation—to make them happen. Also, I had an extraordinary bion-body projection that happened to me recently in 2012 at age 56, and it involved a pet cat. As already mentioned in the About the Author at the beginning of this book, I was living with and helping my parents during their final years of life. In January 2010 at age 54 I decided to get a pet cat for our household, since I thought my parents would like seeing a cat in the house. From the county animal shelter I selected an orange tabby cat that I was told was six or seven years old. Although my parents have since died, I have kept this cat and it is living with me in my retirement. The cat has both its front and rear paws covered with white fur, and white fur on its underside including under its mouth and on the front of its neck and chest, looking very much like the pet cat I grew up with, which, I assume, is the reason I selected it from the other cats at that animal shelter. My dad when he was growing up also had an orange tabby cat, and I assume that is why my parents had gotten an orange tabby cat for the family when I was a child. Thus, another orange tabby cat in my life.

I no longer remember the exact month in 2012 when that bion-body projection happened, but it was about three-quarters of the way into that year of 2012. In my opinion, the buildup that led that cat to do what it ended up doing to me when it was projected out-of-body, is that the cat was becoming frustrated with me: The cat had a lot of energy back then and often harassed me for affection, wanting me to pet it all the time, which I was typically reluctant to do. Also, shortly before the out-of-body incident, the cat kept jumping up on my recliner chair which I would sit in when using my computer or watching TV (I had a large-screen HDTV that I used for both watching TV and for using my computer). Over and over and over again, the cat jumped up on my recliner chair and each time I quickly pushed it off. Many, many times this happened. The cat was very persistent, and this was going on for days. I tried closing my door a few times to keep the cat out, but soon stopped because I had to remain attentive to the needs of my father who was in a different room (my mom had died at the end of 2011, so only my dad was still alive at that time).

After that buildup with the cat, what happened out-of-body is the following: It was nighttime and I was asleep in my bed. I became conscious and found myself (my awareness/mind) in a bion-body that was facing upright toward the ceiling, a foot or two above my physical body on my bed (my bion-body was much less dense—fewer bions—than my one dense bion-body projection described in subsection 10.1.1, but substantially more dense—more bions—than my approximately 100 other bion-body projections that happened before my 25th birthday). Moving rapidly around me, keeping about a foot distant from my projected bion-body, and moving around me at the same height level as my projected bion-body, was the bion-body of my cat (the rapidly moving object that I saw was about the size of my cat and I knew in my mind as I saw it that it was my cat; it had what looked like an elongated ovoid shape and was very dark or black). It was moving very fast around me without stopping, and I assume this fast movement is why I wasn’t able to see any detail in the shape of that cat’s projected bion-body. Presumably, my mind woke me up making me conscious because of what that projected cat was doing. After becoming conscious and realizing what was happening, after about ten seconds of seeing the cat’s projected bion-body rapidly moving around my projected bion-body, my projected bion-body slowly descended down back into my physical body and my conscious state continued as I then lay awake in my physical body on my bed and thought about what had just happened. I estimated that my cat in its projected bion-body was making about three or four complete circuits around my projected bion-body each second—passing close by my head, feet, and sides, and this continued until I was back in my physical body and could no longer see the cat’s projected bion-body. Also, before eventually falling back to sleep, I remember wondering if my bion-body projection close above my physical body was a normal event during my nightly sleep, with my soliton (awareness) normally asleep and unconscious during that bion-body projection time. Perhaps so, although that was the only conscious bion-body projection that I’ve had in recent years, and that was the first and last time that I’ve had an out-of-body encounter with that cat.


10.1.1 My One Dense Bion-Body Projection

Regarding the one dense bion-body projection that I had, it was about six months before my 25th birthday, so I was about 24½ years old, and during the previous five years I had already had hundreds of out-of-body projections, including the two solitonic projections, so I was very experienced with out-of-body projections at that time, but that night was going to be different. I did the normal Om meditation earlier that evening, shortly before I fell asleep, and sometime after I was asleep I became fully conscious while still in my physical body and then felt a lot of vibration as a very dense bion-body—composed of a great many more bions than any previous bion-body projection I had had—moved slowly upward out of my physical body to a height of about two feet above my physical body which was flat on its back (the bion-body was also flat on its back during that upward move). During that slow movement upward, and continuing until the end of this dense bion-body projection, I felt a lot of what seemed like swirling around of the bions in my bion-body limbs, and in my bion-body trunk. It felt like there was a lot of swirling movement happening thruout the interior of my bion-body. And I also saw specific swirls in the interior of my upper bion-body chest when I looked there during that slow movement upward, although after all these years I no longer have a clear memory of exactly what I saw when looking within my dense bion-body. However, for those swirling bions that I saw in my upper bion-body chest, my estimate is that they were moving at a speed of a few inches per second (1 inch is 2.54 centimeters).

Note that I never saw or felt any swirling of bions in all the other, much less dense, bion-body projections that I have had. The swirling of bions that I experienced within my dense bion-body has, I assume, been experienced by others who have also had one or more dense bion-body projections, and I assume that in India centuries ago, what was thought, said, written, and taught about this swirling within a dense bion-body projection, resulted in the subject of chakras.[160]

After the slow upward movement of my dense bion-body had stopped (that upward movement, in my estimate, lasted about four or five seconds), I could see clearly from the vantage point of my bion-body head that it was early morning in my apartment with sunlight already streaming in thru the closed venetian blinds on the windows (I still have a memory of what this looked like). For the first time while in a bion-body I could see what I knew were physical objects (an explanation of how it’s possible to see the physical world when in a bion-body is given in section 5.4, using the learned-program statement get_photon_vectors()).

Also, soon after that upward movement of my dense bion-body had stopped, I became aware that there was a small being of indistinct shape very close above me; it was closer to the apartment ceiling than my bion-body was, and it was right above my bion-body face. Within a few seconds of becoming aware of this being, it spoke to me in clear English with a deep voice that did not sound like a human voice at all (because of its deep voice I’ll refer to it with male pronouns). Here is the very brief conversation we had: He asked me if I was surprised about a certain past success I had had, but instead of answering him, I asked him a question of my own, if I would get something specific I wanted, to which he simply said “No.” I don’t normally remember conversations verbatim, even brief ones, but I’ve remembered and thought about that dense bion-body projection many times over the years, and have often replayed that conversation in my mind, so I still remember that conversation verbatim. However, it was too specific to myself at that time in my life, and would require too much explanation for a verbatim recounting in this book to be useful to the reader.

So, who or what was that being? It didn’t say anything about itself, and my own impression of it during that encounter was that it was not a human, neither an in-the-afterlife human nor an embodied human who was projecting out-of-body. The only non-human intelligent beings considered in this book that are intelligent enough to learn English and communicate with it, are the Caretakers. Thus, my guess is that it was a Caretaker, and, given its deep voice, a male Caretaker.

At that time, considering the sequence of events, I believed that being caused that dense bion-body projection that I had. However, given the procedure in subsection 5.2.3 for a bion-body projection, instead of directly causing that dense bion-body projection that I had, my current thinking is that my unconscious mind was in communication with that being, and my unconscious mind decided to run its bion-body-projection procedure, specifically for a dense bion-body projection, so as to give my awareness the experience that resulted, including interacting with that being.

After that final word, “No”, which ended that conversation with that being, a few seconds later my bion-body moved slowly back down into my physical body, taking about as much time to descend down, an estimated four or five seconds, as it took to ascend up out of my physical body at the beginning of that bion-body projection. To the nearest minute, my estimate is that the entire bion-body projection, from its beginning when my bion-body started moving up out of my physical body, until its end when my bion-body had fully reentered my physical body and I was fully back in my physical body, had lasted one minute. As soon as that bion-body projection had ended, I stayed awake for about two hours just thinking about it, since it was such an extraordinary event.

Regarding my approximately 100 bion-body projections that I had, there was an unpleasant side to them that I often felt when I was away from my physical body (far enough away from my physical body that I was not aware of it being nearby)—I often felt disoriented (I remember often thinking to myself how disorienting a bion-body projection was after having a bion-body projection during which I was away from my physical body). I never felt any disorientation at any time during any of my lucid-dream projections, and I didn’t feel any disorientation when in my bion-body close to my physical body, such as during my one dense bion-body projection and during my 2012 bion-body projection (described earlier in this section). After thinking about this, I think the primary reason that my unconscious mind was making me feel disoriented is because the up/down orientation that the constant downward pull that Earth’s gravity has on one’s physical body was absent, because there was no consciously noticeable downward pull by Earth’s gravity on my projected bion-body. My unconscious mind was sending to my awareness an unpleasant feeling that I consciously interpreted as feeling disoriented, because I was in a body—albeit not my physical body—but the downward pull on my body that my unconscious mind was used to always being there when I was in my physical body, was absent when my awareness/mind was in my projected bion-body. And the reason why my unconscious mind never sent that unpleasant feeling of disorientation to my awareness during any of my lucid-dream projections is because my awareness/mind was not in a body during those projections. During the bion-body stage of the afterlife, my guess is that even if one’s unconscious mind is initially sending that unpleasant feeling of disorientation to one’s awareness, probably one’s unconscious mind will soon stop sending that, as one’s unconscious mind gets used to the apparent weightlessness of that afterlife bion-body (as stated elsewhere in this book, intelligent particles have mass and are subject to gravity, but because of the learned-program statement move_this_bion(), bions have the potential to move in any direction without regard to gravity—see chapter 5 regarding how one’s mind controls the movement of one’s projected bion-body).[161]


footnotes

[160] Presumably others have had dense bion-body projections, and the swirling of particles within the dense bion-body became the basis of the Indian teachings about chakras (wheels) in the subtle body (the projected bion-body, as I call it). Regarding these chakras, the first paragraph in the Wikipedia article Chakra at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chakra says:

In some Indian religions, a chakra (Sanskrit cakra, “wheel”) is thought to be an energy point or node in the subtle body. Chakras are believed to be part of the subtle body, not the physical body, and as such, are the meeting points of the subtle (non-physical) energy channels called nadi. Nadi are believed to be channels in the subtle body through which the life force (prana) (non-physical) or vital energy (non-physical) moves. Various scriptural texts and teachings present a different number of chakras. It’s believed that there are many chakras in the subtle human body, according to the tantric texts, but there are seven chakras that are considered to be the most important ones.

The above quoted paragraph is an example of how poor the explanatory tools were before using the approach I use in this book to explain such things as one’s awareness, one’s mind, and out-of-body projections, with, in effect, a computerized universe. Given what I say in this book, there is no need to use old terminology like “energy”, “subtle body”, “life force”, or “vital energy”, to explain a bion-body projection.

Also, claims of there being “seven basic chakras” in the subtle body—complete with colorful pictures on the internet that show these “seven basic chakras” as circles centered on a straight line that runs from the top of one’s head where the first of these “seven basic chakras” is, down to one’s genitals where the last of these “seven basic chakras” is—is simply a fanciful and imaginary construction made by others who most likely never had a dense bion-body projection themselves.

[161] Regarding the gravity algorithm’s paragraph p22 in footnote 23, I say that the total-gravitational-force vector is added together with other currently applicable force vectors, including, if applicable, move_this_bion()’s force vector. Although I didn’t say it there, because it was too much of an aside for that footnote, I’ll say it here:

I’ve already said elsewhere in this book that I believe that our reality framework—the computing elements and the computing-element program—exists for the benefit of all the awarenesses currently living in this reality framework. Because of this purpose, I assume that the computing-element program’s code regarding move_this_bion() and its force vector, will, in effect, always allow a bion to move against any so-called gravity well, no matter how strong that gravity well is. Thus, for example, even if, hypothetically, one were to fly into the sun, one’s awareness/mind will not become trapped in the sun’s gravity well and sink to the sun’s center. Instead, one’s awareness/mind will be able to use move_this_bion() to fly out of the sun and move far away from it.


10.1.2 My Two Solitonic Projections

With the passage of about 35 years (I am 57 years old as I write this paragraph), I can no longer recall exactly how old I was when I had those two solitonic projections, although they were about a year apart from each other, and happened in my early twenties. Note that section 6.2 Solitonic Projections—which was also a section in all previous editions of this book including the first edition written back in 1993—is based on those two solitonic projections I had.

The context for my first solitonic projection was a lucid dream in which I was over in Europe (my physical body was still back on my bed in New Jersey USA). Marking the end of that lucid dream was a sudden acceleration to a very high speed, but instead of going unconscious until I was either back in my physical body or at a different lucid-dream location, I instead remained fully conscious and found myself (quoting from section 6.2 Solitonic Projections) reduced to “existing as a completely bodiless and mostly mindless awareness—residing at the center of a sphere.” A few features of that solitonic projection not mentioned in section 6.2 Solitonic Projections, is that the whole time during that solitonic projection, moving at high speed, I heard a kind of ongoing crackling sound and felt the high-speed movement.

After I was back in my physical body I estimated that the duration of that solitonic projection was about 12 seconds, and I later used that time estimate and the rough distance between New Jersey USA and Europe to come up with a rough estimate of how fast I was moving during that high-speed return to my physical body: “a speed of roughly several hundred kilometers per second” (this quote is from section 5.3 Lucid-Dream Projections). Although the lucid-dream literature, as I say in section 5.3 Lucid-Dream Projections, gives reason to believe moving at “a speed of roughly several hundred kilometers per second” is possible, it was actually my first solitonic projection that was the basis for my giving this speed estimate in my book. Expressed in miles, and assuming I was near ground level when in Europe (during the lucid dream I thought I was in Holland), and assuming my return to my physical body was a straight-line path thru the Earth, a speed estimate of about 250 miles per second is reasonable.

The context for my second solitonic projection was a bion-body projection. It began with my becoming conscious in a bion-body while I was still coincident with my physical body which was flat on its back on my bed, but instead of quickly moving out of my physical body (as with my typical bion-body projection back then), suddenly I felt the bions of my head move up and away from me, leaving me in the solitonic-projection state (a point-like awareness at the center of a perceived spherical shell). Then, after what seemed like a few seconds, I felt the bions of my bion-body head rush back onto me (me being my soliton/mind in this context) pulling me down a short distance back into my physical head as my bion-body and my soliton/mind reintegrated with my physical body—and with that the entire projection experience was over.

This, my second solitonic projection, was the basis for where I say in section 6.2 Solitonic Projections that “a solitonic projection that occurs during a bion-body projection typically begins when the bion-body is stationary”, and “it seems that the apparent shell is only a few centimeters in diameter.” My estimate for the diameter of the perceived spherical shell was about an inch in diameter (a few centimeters), and that estimate, which I made right after that projection experience was over, was based on my perception of how big that spherical shell seemed to be as the bions of my bion-body head rushed back onto my soliton/mind, and, in effect, re-enclosed me, and as that re-enclosing was happening I gained a wider perception of the bions of my bion-body head as it all came back together and coincided with my physical head—this whole rushed-back-onto-me and reintegration episode only lasted a second or two at most. Knowing how wide my physical head is, I was able to make that one-inch estimate of the diameter of the perceived surrounding spherical shell during a solitonic projection.

I have wondered in the past what that perceived surrounding shell is, and beginning with the 6th edition of this book in 2001, up thru the 11th edition in 2006, I’ve been saying that “This apparent shell is probably the limit of the soliton’s direct perception when it is in the solitonic-projection state.” Thus, I reasoned that that perceived surrounding shell wasn’t a real object. However, with this 12th edition, I have changed my thinking on what that perceived surrounding shell is, and I now believe it is composed of my soliton’s owned bions (my mind). Thus, that surrounding spherical shell that I perceived in my two solitonic projections is my mind, with my soliton (awareness) at the center of it.

In both of my solitonic projections, my perception of that surrounding spherical shell, from the perspective of being inside it at the center of it, was that it had a smooth and continuous surface, with no holes or other openings in it. However, that surrounding spherical shell is not, in effect, a solid shell that prevents intrusion by other particles. Instead, it is a porous shell, as demonstrated by the residence of one’s soliton/mind in one’s physical head, with physical matter and cell-controlling bions in close proximity to one’s soliton.[162]

Something else I got from that second solitonic projection, is that my soliton resides, as best I could tell from that reintegration episode, at the center of my physical head. Note that in section 6.2 Solitonic Projections—referring to the earlier editions of this book—I didn’t mention this detail of the soliton residing at the center of one’s physical head (or if not exactly at the center then close to the center), because I didn’t want to reveal my own solitonic-projection experience as the basis for that detail, and besides, it certainly feels like my awareness is right in my head, between my eyes but further back in my head, and I assume it’s the same for other humans. So, giving my projection experience as confirmation of what we humans already feel is the location of one’s awareness in one’s physical body, didn’t seem that important back then, but because I am now open about my two past solitonic projections, I am mentioning it.

Also, regarding my two solitonic projections, there was no color to the perceived surrounding spherical shell: the shell was neither white nor black nor any other color, it was not a vision perception. Also, there was nothing within the perceived surrounding shell, other than my awareness at the center of that spherical shell.


footnotes

[162] Assuming that that perceived surrounding spherical shell was indeed my mind (my soliton’s owned bions), one can estimate the number of bions in a soliton’s mind (each soliton has the same number of owned bions): My estimate of the diameter of that spherical shell is one inch (2.54 centimeters), which means that the radius of that sphere is 1.27 centimeters and its surface area is about 20 square centimeters. The estimate from chapter 1 is that each computing element is a cube with a side-width of 10−16 centimeters. A square centimeter, one computing-element thick, contains an estimated 1032 computing elements, and 20 square centimeters, one computing-element thick, contains an estimated 2×1033 computing elements. Assume that the thickness of that shell, regarding the soliton’s owned bions, is only one owned-bion thick (justification for this assumption is given in the last paragraph of this footnote).

Also, because that spherical shell, composed of owned bions, is porous: Let’s guess as an upper bound, that only one percent (1/100th) of the sphere’s surface area is occupied by the soliton’s owned bions (and these owned bions are spread out evenly on that sphere’s surface). And, let’s guess as a lower bound, that only 1/10,000,000,000th of the sphere’s surface area is occupied by the soliton’s owned bions (and these owned bions are spread out evenly on that sphere’s surface). Given the previous paragraph, and the guessed-at upper bound and lower bound for how porous the spherical shell is, the upper bound on the number of bions in a soliton’s mind is (2×1033 ÷ 100), which is 2×1031 bions, and the lower bound on the number of bions in a soliton’s mind is (2×1033 ÷ 10,000,000,000), which is 2×1023 bions. For comparison, the number of cell-controlling bions in an adult human body (assuming one bion per cell) is only about 50 trillion bions (5 × 1013 bions). However, regardless of the actual number of bions composing one’s mind, I think it likely that the great majority of the bions composing one’s mind are used for memory storage.

Given this spherical shell of owned bions that is centered on the owning soliton, an obvious question is why does the computing-element program keep all of a soliton’s owned bions at, or nearly at, the same distance from that soliton? I think the primary reason is that the computing-element program’s algorithm for moving a soliton/mind thru 3D space is simplified by defining a single constant separation distance (denote as sd) which is the target distance at which to keep each owned bion from its soliton as that soliton/mind moves thru 3D space. Also, a minor benefit of keeping all the owned bions at the same or nearly the same distance from their soliton is that whenever the soliton sends a message that has more than a single recipient (a soliton can only send messages to its owned bions), those recipients will receive that message at the same time. The porosity of the spherical shell allows that soliton/mind to move quickly thru a mass of other particles without substantially disturbing those other particles. The combination of keeping all of a soliton’s owned bions at about the same distance sd from that soliton, and spreading the owned bions out so as to make the owned mind very porous, results in those owned bions, in effect, all being very close to the surface of a sphere of radius sd, centered on the owning soliton.


10.1.3 My Kundalini Injury

My own kundalini injury, which I suffered on November 16, 1980 (my 25th birthday), was my primary source for writing section 4.5 The Kundalini Injury, which was also a section in all previous editions of this book including the first edition written back in 1993. To describe my own experience with kundalini, I’ll quote from section 4.5 The Kundalini Injury and add bracketed [notes] as needed to give more detail:

At some point during meditation [that night before going to sleep it was my usual Om meditation that I was doing about twice a week back then, with myself lying on my back on my bed, and mentally sounding the word Om over and over again], and without any warning, there is a strong sensation at the spine in the lower back, near the end of the spine. There is then a sensation of something pushing up the spine from the point of the original sensation. How far this sensation moves up the spine is variable [in my case it got about halfway up my back before I got concerned about it and moved, which stopped it]. Also, it depends on what the person does. He should immediately get up, move around, and forswear future meditation.

The onset of the pain is variable [for me it began the next day while I was at my desk in the office building where I worked back then; the pain was a burning sensation across my upper back], but it seems to follow the kundalini injury quickly—within a day or two. Typically, the pain of the kundalini injury is a burning sensation across the back [this was my typical experience]—or at least a burning sensation along the lower spine [this was less common for me]—and the pain may also cover other parts of the body, such as the head [I never had this, but if I recall correctly Gopi Krishna did]. The pain is sometimes intense [for myself, the pain wasn’t that bad; it didn’t prevent me from doing my job and it was never disabling or overwhelming for me]. It may come and go during a period of months or years and eventually fade away [in my case as I recall, the burning-sensation episodes would typically last anywhere from minutes, to an hour or two at most; in the first year or two after my kundalini injury, several burning-sensation episodes per week was typical for me; with the passage of time the intensity of the pain, its duration, and frequency of occurrence all declined, and after four or five years it ended completely], or it may burn incessantly for years without relief [this was the case for Gopi Krishna, if I recall correctly—it’s been more than thirty years since I read Gopi’s book, which I bought and read soon after my own kundalini injury].

The common reaction by the sufferer to the kundalini injury is bewilderment. Continued meditation seems to aggravate the kundalini injury [this was definitely the case for me], so the typical sufferer develops a strong aversion to meditation [whenever I would try doing Om meditation after my kundalini injury, I would quickly get a painful burning sensation along my lower spine, and that was enough to stop me from continuing with that meditation—it’s been decades since I last tried to do Om meditation].

10.2 Motivation and Means for Writing this Book

So, given my above out-of-body projection experiences, and given the fact that I’m an intellectual who wants to understand both the world around me and myself, and knowing that neither current religions nor materialism explain the reality I encountered using Om meditation, thus I was motivated to write this book. And, thanks to the historically recent development of computers, and my own interest since childhood in computers, and my many years as a computer programmer, and my formal education in computers which includes a PhD in computer science, I had the background needed to write those parts of this book that deal with computing.

Apparently my unconscious mind knew what it wanted to accomplish in my current life before I consciously knew it, because my earliest memory directly relevant to this book is that in the summer of 1973 at the age of 17, having recently graduated from high-school, I was standing outside the Public Library in the town I grew up in (Berkeley Heights, New Jersey, USA), and I suddenly thought to myself verbatim: “Someday I’ll write a book that explains everything,” and I had that thought with a feeling of great conviction even though I knew nothing back then of what is in this book: all the learning, projection experiences, other experiences, and thinking, needed to write this book was still ahead of me back then.

10.3 Some Details of my Early Life

My parents—my father Frank T. Johmann (born March 18, 1927; he died at home on December 14, 2013 at age 86), and my mother Marion Johmann (her maiden name was Reynolds; she was born March 31, 1924, and she died at home on December 19, 2011 at age 87)—were both born and lived in Saint Louis, Missouri, USA, up until 1955 when they moved to New Jersey, USA. The story my mother told me many years ago about their first meeting, was that she was visiting a science fair at Washington University in Saint Louis (she was working as an executive secretary at that time, and was not a student), and she met my dad (he was a chemical-engineering student at Washington University) who was demonstrating the heating of apple slices using microwaves. They married July 2, 1949 (after marriage my mom became a housewife, and they remained married and living together until death parted them—she died first).

My father, with his chemical-engineering degree, worked first at some chemical company whose name I no longer remember, and then at Ford (the car company), where his job involved the chemistry of paints used on cars. However, my dad aspired to more, and while working his day job, he went nights to the law school at Saint Louis University and in 1955 earned a law degree. Shortly after graduation from law school he got a job with Esso (the giant oil company that later changed its name to Exxon) in Elizabeth, New Jersey, USA, to work as a patent attorney writing chemical patents, and my parents then moved in the middle of 1955 to Elizabeth, New Jersey for that job—I was born a few months later, on November 16, 1955, in the local hospital (Elizabeth General Hospital). My parents had a total of three children: I have an older sister born in 1953 in Saint Louis, Missouri, and a younger brother born in 1957 in Elizabeth, New Jersey; I was the middle child.

For their first few years in New Jersey my parents lived in an apartment in Elizabeth, New Jersey, close to my dad’s job, but in 1958 they bought a new house in a new housing development of about 100 houses in Berkeley Heights, New Jersey, USA (its street address was: 49 Hampton Drive, Berkeley Heights, NJ 07922). This move was fortunate for me, because there were many young families that bought those new houses, and as I grew up over the years I had a number of good friends my own age who also lived in that housing development, and the houses where they lived were just a short walk or bicycle ride away. (This housing development and most if not all of Berkeley Heights back then had no minorities as I grew up, which contributed to a good and safe environment for us boys to play in.)

I still remember the first good friend I had back then and how I met him. He was a boy my own age and I was about eight years old at the time (he was the first of many different good friends, all male, I would have at different times in my life), and I was riding my bicycle on the street. He was playing on his front yard kicking an inflated rubber ball around, and he kicked the ball towards me as I was riding my bicycle down the street, and that was the start of our friendship (we played together a lot over the next few years until his family moved away). There were a total of four other good friends I had in later years who also lived in that housing development, all boys my own age, including my two best friends during my high-school years.

I have many good memories from my childhood and teen years, involving playing with my friends (for certain sports we often included in our play other boys in the area). A lot of the outdoor activities that we would organize ourselves included such things as—during winter—sledding, building things out of snow including snowmen and igloos, and of course snowball fights. During the warmer months there were bicycle rides with friends to various destinations, outdoor games of various kinds including kickball, touch football, badminton, basketball, softball, and Berkeley Heights also had a community swimming pool that we often went to. Indoors, year-round, in our house and in friends’ houses, there were many different board games we played, and also card games and chess. During junior-high and high-school one of my best friends had a separate game room in his house that included a pool table, and we often played pool.

The only substantial blemish on those years was the forced government schooling we all had to go thru. Only after I was finally out of the last of that forced government schooling, high school, graduating May 1973 at age 17, did my mental development and learning really take off, because the forced “dumbing us down” that was the true purpose of those government schools was finally over (alternatively or additionally, my allocation plan may have changed at about that time, so that I was more intellectually capable).

At this point I’d like to say thanks to my parents: my dad was a good provider for the family and my mother was a good mother. Together they made my home life easy. Christmas time was also great, since there was always a nicely decorated christmas tree and plenty of presents under the tree on Christmas day, and a turkey in the oven, that my parents cooked. They also left my sister, brother, and myself a substantial inheritance, which in my case allowed my early retirement. Thank you, mom and dad.

10.4 Some Details of my Later Life

At least for the decades I knew them, and before they became too old and debilitated to continue doing so, both my parents were voracious readers thruout their lives—almost exclusively non-fiction on different subjects that interested them. Like my parents, I too have been a voracious reader of whatever non-fiction subjects I was currently interested in. Although I remember reading some science fiction and fantasy novels during my high-school years, once I was out of high-school my readings over the years and decades since have been almost exclusively of non-fiction material.

Starting in my late teens (once I was out of high-school at age 17), and continuing up until my early forties, I was buying and reading what I estimated back then as being about 100 non-fiction books per year (I always had enough money, whether from my parents or myself, to buy whatever books I wanted). From my early forties (late 1990s) onward, my reading became increasingly dominated by reading on the internet. By my late forties (early 2000s) and since (it’s 2013 as I write this paragraph), I’m still a voracious reader, but most of my reading has been on the internet, including forums.

Regarding my beliefs as to what we are, they have evolved over time. Even though neither of my parents were religious (my dad was a materialist), they both grew up in Christian households and I suppose that influence caused my mother to take me on Sundays to a local protestant church (beginning at what age for me I no longer remember, but ending no later than sometime during middle-school (middle-school was a two-year period before the four years of high-school). So, for at least a few years I was a Christian in my beliefs. Then, at roughly ages 13 thru 16, influenced by science, I remember being a materialist in my beliefs. At age 17, thinking that materialism was inadequate to explain myself, I started reading on Christian religions, including Catholicism, and became a Catholic at age 18, even going to the local Catholic church for service on Sundays, but I remained a Catholic for less than a year. While a Catholic I had broadened my readings to other world religions, including first Buddhism and then Hinduism. The idea of reincarnation, a feature of both Buddhism and Hinduism but absent from Christianity, just made more sense to me in terms of explaining what I am, and at that point, a few months before my 19th birthday, at age 18, I discarded my belief in Catholicism and Christianity. And then, a few months after my 19th birthday (I remember it was still Winter, early in the year), as a result of using Om meditation (already mentioned at the beginning of this chapter) I had my first out-of-body projection.

Regarding the kind of books I was reading in my late teens, besides buying and reading many books on the religions just mentioned, I also bought and read many classics of Greek and Roman history (all in English translation, since English is the only language I know), and I continued buying and reading classics of this and other kinds far into my twenties. After I had my first out-of-body projection at age 19, during that year and following years, far into my twenties, I bought and read many books on out-of-body projections and also books on other psychic phenomena (on these subjects and other subjects, I didn’t just limit my book buying to what I could find in local bookstores, since I also ordered many books from various book catalogs from specialty publishers). Thruout my twenties I also bought and read many books on nature (organic life in general, including books on plants and animals; I also visited many different zoos during my vacations to Europe in my mid and late twenties).

In late 1985, a few days before my 30th birthday, I became diabetic: Over the course of several days I could tell I was becoming sick in some way, but I didn’t know what it was. Unknown to me, the amount of glucose in my blood was rising over the course of those three or four days until it reached such a high level that I became unconscious on the sofa in my apartment, on my 30th birthday (November 16, 1985). Fortunately, I had telephoned my mother the day before that happened and told her about my developing sickness, which was a mystery to me. She called me the next day (the day I became unconscious) to check on me, and she said that I answered the phone but just kind of grunted and couldn’t say anything. Alarmed, she drove over to my apartment, got the building manager to unlock my apartment door, and found me unconscious lying on my sofa. The end result was that I regained consciousness some hours later in the local hospital and was told by a doctor that I had diabetes and would be injecting insulin for the rest of my life (the insulin is injected under the skin, and not into a blood vessel). Thus, on my 30th birthday I learned that I had insulin-dependent diabetes, and, just as that doctor said, I’ve been injecting insulin ever since (I had the kundalini injury on my 25th birthday, and I learned I was diabetic on my 30th birthday, so I remember being very cautious on my 35th birthday, but nothing happened; the only good thing about those two events happening on my birthday is that it has always been very easy for me to remember exactly when those two events happened in my life). Diabetes has definitely had a negative effect on my life, and among other things it substantially reduces my life expectancy, but at least it is painless and has been easy to live with, most of the time. The only positive I see in being type-1 diabetic is that I probably won’t live long enough to become helpless and dependent from old age, which happens to many people at some point when they get into their eighties (I saw it happen to my parents). Knowing with certainty about the afterlife and reincarnation, I am comfortable with the thought of my own eventual death, but, like most people, I’m in no hurry to get there.

During the time I was a graduate student at the University of Florida in Gainesville Florida (August 1988 at age 32, thru May 1992 at age 36; earning first a Masters degree and then a PhD degree, both in computer science) I developed an interest in the subject of UFOs, and over the course of about two years I bought and read scores of books on that subject (many of the older books I found in used bookstores, of which Gainesville had several at that time). I have not seen a UFO myself, nor have I seen or had any interaction with a UFO occupant, but my time in grad school is when I became interested in that subject and studied it. Also, I want to say that the formal education in computer science that I got at the University of Florida definitely improved my knowledge and understanding of computation, algorithms, networks, and programming in general, and allowed me to write on those subjects—insofar as they are in this book—with greater clarity and correctness than I believe would have been possible for me had I not had that formal education.[163] Indeed, I began work on the first edition of this book soon after my May 1992 graduation at age 36 with a PhD in computer science, and self-published a printed paperback of the first edition of this book in 1993.[164],[165],[166]


footnotes

[163] There is a story behind why in 1988 at age 32 I became a grad student at the University of Florida in Gainesville Florida, and it directly involved my parents: In January 1986, my father at age 58, after 30 years working at Exxon, retired from his job there. In 1987 my parents decided they would retire to Gainesville Florida, because they wanted the warm weather of Florida, and my dad wanted to be able to use the University’s libraries to pursue his own research interests. Back then, in 1987, I was living in an apartment in Chatham, New Jersey, which was about an eight-mile drive to my parent’s house in Berkeley Heights, New Jersey (the same house I grew up in), and I visited them about once a week and also kept in touch by phone, so I knew of their retirement plans. Near the end of 1987 my parents surprised me with the following suggestion: They offered to pay all my living and tuition expenses if I became a grad student at the University of Florida. This was their idea, not mine, since I wasn’t consciously thinking at all about going to grad school. However, as I thought about their offer, I liked the idea of learning more about computer science and in the end I accepted their offer, but I had to also get accepted at the University, so I applied for admission to the computer-science department at the University of Florida, and was accepted for admission in the Fall semester of 1988.

Then, in the summer of 1988 both my parents and I moved to Gainesville Florida. Once in Gainesville, I rented an apartment within walking distance to where my classes would be on the University campus. My parents rented a house less than ten miles from the University, and in 1989 they had a large two-story house constructed in a new housing development in Gainesville known as Haile Plantation. In early 1993 at age 37, my parents wanted me to move in with them. I accepted because, in addition to they being my parents, it was free and it was a large spacious house with a pool and a big yard with many trees and palms (I was given two large rooms, and a bathroom with a walk-in shower, and a small kitchen, all for my own exclusive use on the second floor). Years later, I was able to pay my parents back by helping them when they became too old and needed a lot of help. At the end of 2010 at age 55 I moved us into a smaller one-story house in Gainesville, because in the two-story house my rooms were upstairs but my parents were downstairs, and getting us all on the same floor made my job caring for them easier.

[164] For the second edition of this book, in 1994 I both self-published a printed paperback and also for the first time put my book on the internet, in the form of HTML webpages (each section of the book in its own webpage). For the third thru eleventh editions of this book, I published exclusively on the internet, always making the book available as both HTML webpages (each section in its own webpage), and as a single HTML webpage (the entire book in a single webpage). The HTML for my book has always been free (no charge by me to read it and/or download it), and this will also be true for the 12th edition once I finish it (since you are reading this, that means I finished it).

[165] All of the editions of The Computer Inside You were published, unlike my first attempt at such a book, titled A-Space, E-Space, Gaia, and Soul, which I wrote beginning in the Fall of 1987 at age 31, and completed in March 1988 at age 32. I never published that book, but I did register a copyright for it (the FORM TX that I have, says that the Effective Date of Registration is April 6, 1988).

Much of what I had written in A-Space, E-Space, Gaia, and Soul—regarding meditation, the syllable Om, and the Upanishads, and out-of-body projections including Oliver Fox and Sylvan Muldoon, and the kundalini injury, and the soul and soul projections—I copied into the first edition of The Computer Inside You (in the first edition of The Computer Inside You, I renamed the soul and soul projections as the soliton and solitonic projections). Most memorable to me about my A-Space, E-Space, Gaia, and Soul book, is that during my first semester in graduate school in the Fall of 1988, about six months after I had finished writing A-Space, E-Space, Gaia, and Soul, I realized that I had made a major error in that book, because I imagined, in effect, two different kinds of computing elements with their own programming, that I named A-Space and E-Space, instead of the more simple and efficient single kind of computing element with its computing-element program. Quoting from my unpublished book:

The deductive leap is to say that there are two types of space, and they are very finely nested with each other. The pieces of space which support the physical world will be called A-space. The pieces of space which support the hidden world will be called E-space. This is the theory of A-space and E-space. In a large volume of space, such as a cubic meter, we could say that half of the cubic meter is A-space and the other half is E-space. We would also say the two spaces are very finely nested together. In fact, the two spaces are probably nested together in a very regular and orderly pattern.

Looking back at that first book and the many editions of this book, writing a book that puts computation at the root of reality has been a long, drawn-out process for me, with many mistakes made by me along the way, beginning with A-Space, E-Space, Gaia, and Soul, and continuing with the different editions of The Computer Inside You. One type of mistake I made repeatedly in earlier editions of this book, is that I believed other authors regarding claims of macroscopic materializations of physical matter done by a person’s mind, and also claims of a person’s mind directly moving physical matter at a substantial distance from that person. An example of this mistake by me, in The Computer Inside You, is in the fourth thru eleventh editions, in the section titled Sai Baba According to Haraldsson. The following is copied from the first paragraph of that section in the fourth edition:

Psychologist Erlendur Haraldsson (a professor at the University of Iceland) has written a study of the Indian guru Sathya Sai Baba (born November 23, 1926), in his book Modern Miracles. Haraldsson’s personal experience with Sai Baba included witnessing several materializations, which is the type of miracle for which Sai Baba is most famous.

I had bought and read Haraldsson’s book and I believed him, and put Sai Baba in my own book as someone who was able to do materializations. It was only while working on the 12th edition of this book in 2016, thinking and writing subsection 3.8.7 The Learned-Program Statements for Seeing and Manipulating Physical Matter have a very Short Range, that I realized that the described materializations done by Sai Baba are simply impossible and didn’t happen. After that realization, I deleted that Sai Baba According to Haraldsson section from the 12th edition. Also impossible and didn’t happen, are any claims that a person, using his mind alone, directly moved physical matter at a substantial distance from himself.

Given the previous paragraph, one may wonder if I have also been too trusting of what others have written regarding UFOs being real. As I’ve already said, I have not seen a UFO myself. Thus, I am relying on what others have written about UFOs being real. I am sure that there is at least some fiction in the UFO literature, that some reported sightings and encounters are fiction. However, knowing from my own direct experience that we have an existence separate from our physical bodies, the existence of the Caretaker civilization described in section 7.6 is, in my opinion, very likely. And, assuming that the Caretaker civilization exists, it seems likely that they would have physical flying machines, for the reasons given in chapter 8.

[166] As of mid-September 2017, I am only a day or two from finishing the text of this 12th edition and publishing it at my website at https://solitoncentral.com. This footnote was written more than a month ago, with the expectation that I would fill in my estimate of the total hours worked when I reached this point of being finished: For this 12th edition, I have consciously worked on it for a total of about 31 months, working an average of about 3½ hours per day. This gives a total of about (30.5 × 31 × 3½) = about 3,300 conscious work hours on this 12th edition. I estimate that close to four-fifths of this total work time of about 3,300 conscious work hours was spent on the following three new parts of the book which have a lot of algorithms, data structures, and code:

  • the new section 3.8 and its nine subsections;

  • the new subsections in section 5.1, namely subsections 5.1.1 and 5.1.2;

  • the new section 5.2 and its three subsections (the old section 5.2, about Oliver Fox, is now section 5.3).

The single most time-consuming footnote that I added to the 12th edition is footnote 23. This footnote includes a detailed, efficient algorithm for gravity. In total, to produce footnote 23, including all the conscious time needed to work out every detail of the gravity algorithm, took about 6 weeks, working an average of about 4½ hours a day, for a total conscious work time of about 190 hours. I did the majority of my work on footnote 23 in June 2017, which was near the end of my work on the 12th edition. Most of this book is focused on ourselves as complex, intelligent-particle beings living in physical bodies in a physical world with other physically embodied humans and a wide variety of physically embodied life forms, and, I didn’t initially think that I should take the time and effort needed to explain how gravity happens within the framework of the computing-element reality model. However, since I was nearing completion of the 12th edition, I decided to take the time and make the effort needed to explain gravity with an efficient algorithm, and I’m glad I did, because of the successful and pleasing result.

The reason that I refer to my conscious work time instead of just my work time, is because, when doing mental work in general, trying to solve some specific problem, such as, for example, how best to design a specific algorithm, I often find that my mind needs more time to think about it, because I’ve consciously reviewed what my unconscious mind currently has to offer regarding that specific problem, but I am consciously unsatisfied for one or more reasons and, in effect, I tell my unconscious mind that more work is needed. Then, often after “sleeping on it”, and sometimes waking up with new thinking quickly presented to my awareness regarding that specific problem, I know that my unconscious mind has, in effect, found a new approach or solution to that specific problem. Sometimes, depending on the specific problem, a number of days are needed with my unconscious mind working in the background, before I get the feeling from my unconscious mind that it is ready for me to consciously review its work. I don’t consciously know how many total work hours my unconscious mind has spent working in the background on this 12th edition, but my guess is that it’s more than half of my conscious work hours on this 12th edition, which means that I’m guessing that my unconscious mind has spent more than 1,650 hours working in the background on this 12th edition when I was not consciously working with my mind on this 12th edition.

For the 12th edition of this book, which will be free on the internet, I have changed the title of this book from The Computer Inside You, to its new title, A Soliton and its owned Bions (Awareness and Mind). And I’ve added a subtitle: These Intelligent Particles are how we Survive Death. My reason for changing the book title is because The Computer Inside You is simply too ambiguous regarding what this book is about. Also, I wanted this 12th edition’s title/subtitle to focus on something that is important to many potential readers, which is answering these two questions about oneself: What am I? and What happens to me after my physical body dies?

Perhaps I should mention that I expect this 12th edition to be the last edition of this book, and I have been working on this book these last few years with that goal in mind. Of course, there will always be more that can be written on this subject of a computed reality, including more algorithms, more questions, and more answers to those questions. And, of course, more can be written on the subject of ourselves, within the context of a computed reality. However, I am getting old and somewhat worn out (it is July 2017 and I am 61 years old as I write this paragraph), and I leave all this additional work to others. Although it is an ambitious hope, I do hope that this 12th edition will help many intelligent people to improve their knowledge and understanding of the reality we all live in.


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Note: The above references are for those books that I specifically mention and/or quote from. The above references do not include the books that I used when writing some of the various descriptive parts in this book, such as the descriptions of cell division, brain structure, neurons, and other descriptions of biological structures and processes. When writing these descriptive parts, which I have written in my own words, I typically drew from multiple sources so as to have confidence that the information I was using was correct and widely accepted as factual.